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How To Use One Of The Tools You Have In Your Head

It Is All In Your Head

Not just that.


Your response to outside events.

To that nasty comment from the guy at work.

To the parking warden, who is busy writing out a ticket.

To the missed train, the length of time taken for the traffic lights to change.

The emotional anger you feel, the tense, burning sensation in your head that floods your body with hormones as if you are about to be attacked by a lion.

Is all created by you, by your perceptions, by what you think is happening. By your interpretation of what is happening.

Just because you feel it is happening to you, just because you see it and feel it, does not mean it’s true.

Much of what happens is your response to an event. Most of the stress you feel is based on a whole load of internal responses to external events. Few of which you have any control over.

Your response however is fully in your control.

To not have an opinion, to not have a view, to understand that others act in strange ways do strange things, are often mindless in what they say or how they act. 

These things could change everything for you.

Just by noticing their behavior and choosing not to respond as your default response.

This does quite a lot for your own mental positioning. Allows you to take a calm and rational approach to any situation. Remember, your mind lives in darkness, it relies on…

What you can see.

What you can hear.

What you can smell.

Your brain interprets all of that into a series of information signals, in real time and your brain, in instant provides you with a formal response. A flood of hormones, a change in body language, a response.

Often your response is wrong, not based on all the information. 

And that is where it starts to go very wrong for you. In simple terms you are responding in a half-cocked way  that could be very wrong – causing an instant reaction in the other person who is also focusing on incorrect information – on interpreted signals.

Two wrongs in this case do not make a right. 

The solution to all of this.

To be more Zen about everything, to not have an opinion. To accept what is, to be more considered and thoughtful, to be mindful before you respond – will lead to a life, a day that is far less stressful, more enjoyable even. 

Give it a try, don’t let others force you into stating an opinion, force you into responding. Work on some ‘templated excuses’.

“That’s really interesting, I’d never thought of it like that” 

“Really, I never knew”

“You know what, it’s never happened to me, I’m not sure how I’d respond” 

Work on your own, it saves you having to think and it will save you a good deal of energy,  it will save you from getting dragged into those perpetual, circular conversations with friends, family and strangers.

Not having an opinion means you never have to get involved with those senseless arguments that are never resolved.  

It preserves your headspace for you. Your own headspace is the best thing you can have, to make up your own mind based on the evidence you gather. And then if you decide to share it, you can and support it with facts, or hold it as a belief. 

Just remember you are under no obligation to share, no obligation to help others out with your views or opinions. 

Remember, life is short. Time waits for none of us. Don’t let others take yours. 

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